December 29, 2011

It Comes To An End


Hye readers & bloggers! How are you guys out there? Been good?

Well,everyone knows that 2011 will end so soon and as for that I want to share my sweet bitter life throughout these year :)

2011 [] genab aku hidup for 18 years and for that Alhamdulillah!

2011 [] I get my SPM Result!

2011 [] I get into university oh dear Kedah why la you take me from my family but it's okay I love staying there :)

2011 [] I met new friends, surroundings, crowd, human beings and lots from it.

2011 [] I met him : miims =) but jodoh tak menyebelahi kami? hakhakhak :D

2011 [] He remarried -.- what a life. Saya terima dengan hati yang sangat terbuka :)

2011 [] I got so sick that lead for 50% chances of leukemia =(

2011 [] I now can tell mana kawan mana lawan =)

Too many things to list as what had happened let's just keep it as my sweet bitter memories :) Thanks for making my life as sweet as sugar Allah! 2011 I will surely missed you a lot so sad :'(
Live a good life peeps =)

Salam Perantauan from Wan Rosan & Kids! Goodbye 2011 & Hello 2012

December 12, 2011

Someone Like You

Finally, like seriously I've already watched Ombak Rindu :) he he he I know very kemaruk one with Ombak Rindu.
One day before going out with college friends to watch Ombak Rindu, saya sudah habis kan buku ombak rindu :D
See how kemaruk nya I am with that movie. Actually, I'm not into this kind of Malay Movies but because of Lisa Surihani and Aaron Aziz seriously sanggup habis beriban =) I had a lot of fun last Friday!

Okay back to that "Someone Like You" topic. Actually they got nothing to do with boys or whatsoever.
Dude, bosan la asyik talking about boys. It is actually about the very best girl friend of mine, Mieyra Alfaz!

So, at first me and Mieyra not that close seriously. So we started hanging out like others did until second semester only we were like a very best friend seriously. Everywhere we go we always together. Unfortunately, for this second semester, we're not in the same class. So freaking bored okay.

I thought I wouldn't found anyone here exactly like my high school friends but again I was wrong. I did, I did found exactly like them but here is a bit more and huge different because sini campur and I've gained a lot of boys friend than I have in Kuala Lumpur.

That "Someone Like You", Mieyra seriously the only girl that I'm suitable to be with because she's just like me free hair, same age, share stories and many sort of things together. It's not I'm not suitable to be with other friends just that sometimes I felt like a very small person hehehe because quarter of the wearing tudung and very segan nak rapat. Sometimes I do feel like " alaa tak de siapa nak kawan because I'm a free hair student" but again and again I was wrong hehehe kena pandai sesuai kan diri :)

p/s: Can't wait for this coming Mid-Semester Break! My "someone like you" is coming down to Kuala Lumpur :)


December 7, 2011

Hospitalized

God has a bigger plan for me and that's why you were sent to me and deep inside He knew what's the best for me and that's why He gave me all sort of diseases because I'm strong enough to face His challenge.

After came back from Penang, I got sudden attack from asthma. The next morning, I went to Hospital Sultanah Bahiyah, Kedah with one of the fellow warden also one of the lecturer in my college, Miss Dina. She is a very nice and kind person. She waited for me for hours in the Emergency Room while waiting for my mother and relatives to come.

I actually thought it was only an asthma attack but the doctor asked me to do X-ray because she wanted to see my lungs. So yeah I went with Miss Dina and from there they found bacteria in my lungs. I've got problem here so they stopped me from going back and I've to rest in the Emergency Room for 12 Hours. Imagine how sucks it was because I've to run some blood test few times. I seriously hate that part. Then, they decided not to let me go back home. So I've to stayed there for a week.

They sent me to the first class ward at level 7. So my cousins were there too and same goes to Miss Dina. And yeah at 11.00 pm my family came. Mummy sleep at the Hospital with me for 3 days and then she got to go back to Kuala Lumpur got some work done to complete. And also due to the doctor, I have to stay there for 45 Days because I need to take the injection for Antibiotic until the bacteria gone. Alhamdulillah, I'm so grateful God make t shorter He knew I was in so much pain if I've to stay there for 45 Days. Thank you God.

Here, I want to thanked all of my friends from KptmAs and Cbners for your support and advice. And not to forget the Lecturers too. Thank you! And I'm so pleased I met friends from KptmAs like you guys. You guys never tired of coming over and look up for me. Never tired whenever I say I'm giving up and all. And special thanks to Nazzatul Alia for keep accompany me for one night at the Hospital. You're the real pet sister and bestfriend of mine! Thanks babe! Thanks so much all. Mummy thank you for coming back to Kedah to look up for your only Princess hehehe :D

Dear Mummy,Siblings,Relatives and Friends, I'm sorry if I ever troubled you guys ever since I was in the Hospital. If only I could repay your good deeds but I couldn't as for now I can only thanked you guys.

La Familia, OM 1D, OM 2D & College Friends THANK YOU SO MUCH!

For More Info/Pictures click here http://sikacamata08.blogspot.com/ [ Thanks Wandi :) ]

Penang

Hey,bloggers or readers? Hehehe

I've missed or you guys have missed a lot from me. *cewah macam ada orang baca je blog aku ni whatever.

Too many things I want to share due to several technical I've to stop blogging for a moment. But now here I am to share a little few stories what has happened and where I've been to for last two weeks? See how long time I've to stopped blogging.

So,last two weeks I've been to Pulau Pinang ( Penang) for some ceramah kot. Jelajah Francais 1 Malaysia. I, myself don't even know motive behind the ceramah thingy. Hehehe but it's a good thing because I at least for the first time got the chance to go somewhere far with the other friends. I've never been to any other places under school or even college before this because I'm not allowed to hehehe *anak mummy biasa la :D

I've got nothing else to story about that ceramah so I will only share some pictures =)








November 18, 2011

Tell Me Goodbye

SADIS! SADIS!

Hehehehe baru tahu what sadis is excited want to use them :D

Okay, actually I want to talk about him.

Someone that makes me feel happy
Someone that makes me feel alive
Someone that makes me feel the love
Someone who taught me about life
Someone who taught me a lot about guys

And now, that someone has already left me for real. Firstly, I want to say I'm sorry because I screwed up everything. Second, I'm sorry I've troubled you so far. Third, I'm sorry because I lied to you. Fourth, I'm sorry I said those harsh words. Fifth, I'm sorry I've deleted you from my friend list on Facebook. Sixth, I'm sorry I've deleted your number from my contact list. I've got my own reason I did all that. I'm just so sorry for everything. And you've promised me a lot of things back then but none of them you can keep anymore and for that I'm sorry for staying and trusting you. I also got my own reason for doing all this but there'd be no use telling you about it because you never understand. You want people to understand you but why won't you do the same thing? You've promised me not going to messed things up but you did. If you hate me that much go on spilled it out but just do hurt my loved ones (friends) that's not fair for them. And I know that when I aksed you " Did you hate me" and you replied "No, I'm just mad at you!" You want to know what, I don't thin so you're mad. Why can't you tell the truth? Was it so hard to tell the truth? I'm begging you to please tell the truth, please stop coming into my dreams you've been the biggest nightmare and I hate it, if you're leaving please take everything with you, your heart, your soul and you memories. If I could throw them and get them burn I will surely done that. You're just too precious for me to do that so please take it all away. Goodbye! Let's live a good life alright? :)



November 15, 2011

Here It Comes

Second Semester!

Am so excited for this coming semester. Everything is just going to be a brand new world hehehe :D

But at the same time I feel bad and sad too cause some of my friends will be leaving the college meaning they will not going to enter the second semester.

Atin, I'm going to miss you a lot. Looks like I have to learn to wear the tudung by my own :(

Bobboy, haih penat cakap! Make sure turun Kedah alright hehe miss you la weh siapa nak jadi best partner I dah entah :(

This is so sucks like I've lost everyone the most important people in my life :( I'm scared of what's going to happen in the future!

Tomorrow I'll be leaving this lovely hometown back to Kedah. Then might be on Friday, Saturday or Sunday why not Thursday itself, I'll be coming back to Kuala Lumpur for some personal reason. Then right after done everything on Monday, I'll fly to Kedah again. What a tiring life -.-

December will come in two or three weeks and that is so scary. But everyone is positive about it and hope I'll be positive too :)

If I come back earlier than everyone expected it to be means something just went wrong and If I come back a little late meaning it is a big success and I'm all free. Too many possibilities that I could not write it here.Be positive all we need :)

November 6, 2011

Summer D'rianz

Starting from May 29th till September 10th our friendship bond starts!

Jejaka kacak in OM 1D :D Meet Amierul he's a very nice friend anak Kedah loghat dia wuish memang tak kan pernah nak faham but after months I get used to it but only certain things I can understand -.- But after all being friends with orang Utara was fun actually because the way they talked like gila la boleh pecah kepala pecah perut!

Budak-budak Johor yang suka annoying kan orang! Meet Panjang (Irsyad) & Pendek (Ami) hehehe they were given that name maybe because of their heights I guess whatever but both ni memang makhluk annoying! Si Pendek okay lagi and he was the first guy kot in the class I've talked to and being friends with.Ami is a nice guy dia baik gila but sometimes sakit hati sebab suka buli aku -.- But dia okay lagi Si Panjang tu OMG! Macam nak kena belasah pun ada! Every second every minute tak sah kalau dia tak menjegkel kan aku! Up till now tak sempat lagi nak balas dendam asyik dia je menang tak pe one day tengok la I will balas balik naj juga jadi annoying kan hehehe :D

Budak bergaya,smart macho in OM 1D meet Leman :) known as Fahmie! Okay this dude first time konon diam malu-malu kucing but bila dah kenal wuish mamat ni bising ingat tak reti nak buka mulut. Maybe it was the first meeting kan like people said first impression kan penting eleh sudah la kau Leman! But he was fun and caring! Best gila kenal Leman macam abang :) Oh he was the second tallest in our class so orang ada juga panggil dia Tinggi memang tinggi la kau lama-lama!

Sweet kan? Sweet kan? Sweet kan? Jealous I you know hehehe My very favorite Girl & Boy in OM 1D meet Ketot and Bobboy :) Actually their actual name was Sheera and Syamim but bila dah lama kenal mula la nick name dapat. That shows how creative we can be sometimes! Sheero & Miemo pun nama diorg juga! See banyak betul nick name diorg dapat! Lain orang lain diorg panggil. Case Bobboy tu hehehe sorry Miem dah terbiasa :) Siapa suruh you buat lawak lagi kan dah lekat bobboy tu!

Kakak kerek and another budak Johor yang kerek in OM 1D meet Najib and Bobboy ah~ That pretty girl is Atikah she was given a nickname as Najib la Kak Long la hahaha lawak oh. Macam-macam perangai ada dalam class.Najib budak KL hehe bangga bangga but she's in Putrajaya and I'm in KL ah lantak la asal KL! Najib nampak brutal and ganas but memang pun hehe! But she was a very kind person! Kan Najib kan?
See how cool budak OM 1D can be :) Boy & Jas bila dah desperate sangat kerja tak siap or ada some part yang tak tahu jawapan this is what going to happen! Kantoi kantoi hehehe

Apa yang penting kerjasama! Hehehe getting ready for PD Class meet Bee & Dayah!

Budak Perlis, Budak Johor, Budak Kedah jejaka-jejaka kacak in OM 1D meet Wandi, Miemo & Leman

Them with Princess Dora hehehehe :D Of course la aku yang Princess in OM 1D kan! Right after Maths Test at Mergong!
La Familia :) Best Friends

Before CTU class started time ni nak pujuk Miemo yang tengah touching -.- Psycho hahaha
Again them with Princess Dora or known as Lisa Surihani hahaha :D Chill out at the Library Al-Kindi
From Kedah with Love! OM 1D full of friendship love that make us looks like a one happy family
Kanak-kanak riang! This is students of OM 1D Semester One aka Warga Summer D'rianz

November 5, 2011

I Never Let Go

The moment you stood next to me, I liked the way your eyes looked at me. Though I cried yesterday and today because of you my day tomorrow will always be happy than ever. Neither his face or his style all I want was his tender love to forget all the time that has passed. I can now no longer do anything without you because I know nothing else but love. Even if I tried for days to forget you, to erase you, calmly, like a fool, an awkward greeting was all I could do. These awkward words are for you. My heart, my soul for you is my reason it is for you. I'll be missing you even for just one day, for one second. You've become so far from me nowadays. I'll never let you go cause I'm going to make a way. Don't leave me like everyone else did, stay and be in my arms forever. Why are you leaving me now? Tell me the reason after all you've done, you've said. You're the one who wants me to stay and now you're leaving me behind all alone. I just don't understand things and I don't understand you. What am I supposed to do? You appeared in my dreams all night and why were you torturing me like this? Will this be your last smile that protecting me all this while? If you're thinking of leaving me behind, please take you soul in my heart too. Don't be too selfish, I'm begging you! And even if another time comes, only you are my everything. All this while, it has always been you, my only one and only you make me smile.

November 1, 2011

Try To Get Me

#I put too high hope so you could understand me but you didn't.

One More Day

I just want one more day with you.

I’m so sad and depressed
Is all I want to do is rest
I go to sleep at night
But my dreams I just can’t fight

I think of you lying in that bed
And wonder if there is anything I could have said
I wish you were still here
But I know that you are still near

I love you more than you know
I just want things to go back to the way they used to be

I couldn't sleep at night because I know that it's over between us.




Got Tagged

I got tagged from Nur Rasyidah Nor Hashim one of my classmates & best friend =)



THE RULES

1. Post this rules.
2. Write 11 things about yourself.
3. Answer the question the tagger set for you.
4. Create 11 new question for the people who you tagged to answer.
5. Choose 11 blogger to tag and link them on the post
6. NO TAG BACK!

11 THINGS ABOUT ME
  • I'm a very small person but I've got this temper that no one can tell by just looking at my height. Especially when I got my period -.-
  • I'm a very determined person. Well, if I want something I must get that no matter what.
  • I don't like to hear negative things about me (selfish,bossy and etc) Because I'm not. I know what I look like. I know myself. Even my own family keeps saying I'm like that I just ignore them because I'm not.
  • Dancing is my passion. God I love to dance. Why I love music because when music is on that way I got an inspiration and ideas to create a dance moved. I'm good at dancing and the only thing I'm good at.
  • I love Fashion thingy. I love to dress-up. I love clothes, make-ups, shoes (heels) because dress-up shows our characters look like. It makes me more confident than ever and it feels real good to dress-up.
  • I don't like to hear orders from people. It makes me want to get mad and hate someone because they keep ordering me all around.
  • I'm not sombong. Seriously no joke. Well, I don't really no other people and that's how I look like. My face -.-
  • I love to help other people but I'm just a small kid hehehe :D But if I can, I'll try to help them no matter what.
  • I can be sweet, romantic, loving, caring, kind but I can be real mean. Seriously only people very near and closed know how mean I can be.
  • I'm not an easy person. It's hard for me to love,like someone. Once I have my eyes on that person I'll always look up for him. And it's not easy for me to let go that one person. Appreciate that =)
  • I'm not good at pujuk people not that I'm ego I just can't bring myself to pujuk someone and I'm not that type of person who likes to pujuk others. The only and the best I can do is stop repeating my wrongs and ask for forgiveness. I'll try to changed.


11 QUESTION THE TAGGER SET FOR ME


1. Dalam berkawan, korang pilih rupa ke atau hati dorang?
I do admit that I used to choose rupa but nowadays human is very unpredictable so I will choose the heart.
2. Perangai buruk apa yang korang tak suka dalam seseorang tu?
Sarcastic human, Bossy people, Annoying species, Backstabbers & Stealer!

3. Kalau boy/girl korang ramai kawan perempuan/lelaki(berlawanan jenis), korang jealous tak? Apa tindakan korang? (kalau takda boy/girl, buat2 macam ada lah)
I've got this freaking problem. I admit I'm a jealous type but I don't really show my jealousy. The only action I took is by having some boys friend (kawan-kawan lelaki senang sikit). If you understand me you can tell that I'm jealous and tried to pay you my jealousy.

4. Kepada girls, korang suka tak pakai make-up? And kepada boys, korang suka tak perempuan make-up?
Absolutely yes. I really do love make-ups. I'm the Princess remember? Hehehehe :D

5. Ciri-ciri yang korang nak ada dalam bakal suami/isteri korang?
Hehehehe favorite question :)
Smart,Kacak bergaya,Same age as I am or one year older,Accept for who I am,Taller than me,I don't prefer a smoker but just don't smoke in front of me or my family,Not a drinker please,Can play guitar maybe,Romantic,Iman kuat so he can lead me,An honest husband,A loyal one,Protective at times,Loving and Caring husband,A husband that loves children,From a good family backgrounds,Respect my family members especially my mummy.That's all I guess pokoknya hehehe semua mesti yang baik-baik nak bawa jumpa mummy senang hehehehe =D

6. Pada usia berapakah korang rasa korang dah patut/akan berkahwin?
My all time favorite number 23 hihihi =D

7. Apa keistimewaan diri korang yang korang rasa orang lain tak mampu buat/tak ada?
My Instinct is very strong.

8. Apa cita-cita korang masa kecik2 dulu dan sekarang?
A lawyer up till now I want to be a lawyer still but God plan something bigger and better for me. I'm going to pursue for Charted Personal Assistant hehehe I've planned everything so far.

9, 10, : syid tak bagi soalan pun -.- skip!

11. Berapa lama masa yang korang ambil untuk jawab soalan nih semua and post entry nie?
One hour maybe? Hahahah didn't count at all.

9. Korang ada BF/GF tak? If ada, story laa sikit pasal diri BF/GF korang.
Hahahahahahaha BF tak main ah. Tunggu I kahwin nanti :D
10. Hobi yang paling tak senonoh korang selalu buat?
Kutuk orang hehehe
11. Kau suka kentut tak? Aku suka sebab lega perut aku baq hang..
Syid please stop it hahahahaha :D



October 31, 2011

November ♥

I've missed a lot of news, stories since I was so sick for the past few days. Thank God, am fully recovered now. Up till now I'm still alive and I thanked God for that. I'm happy it's November now. Because past few months was the biggest nightmare for me. I felt like living in a hunted life. Everyday I had a nightmare and it sucks. It really does. I wished and pray hard to God every single day to avoid from those nightmares but it doesn't worked and finally I'm survive till today because of the one month semester break. At least while having my loved ones around my past didn't brag in my happiness. Today's date is 1/11/2011 super cool and I wish God will make it more cheerful and different because I'm ready for a new chapter and it begins now.

" Leave September, open up for November, looking forward for December and waiting for the New Year "

October 28, 2011

O.M.G


I'm going to get you baby. Seriously I will. Just wait mummy will come and pick you end of this year. Very fashionable, stylish, high class, real standard and fabulous. December please come fast. I need to save more money so I can take you with me to Malaysia. Please be nice so I won't waste my money just for you. I LOVE H&M!

Tell Me Your Wish

I've got little things I want before enter my second semester.

-> Macbook Pro 13 inch

-> Iphone 4

-> Anna Sui Flight of Fancy Perfume

-> Prada Fairy Bag

-> Zara, Cotton On, Top Shop, Forever 21, PDI clothes

-> Warehouse Accessories

-> Charles & Keith shoes

-> Esprit Watch

-> Elle Bed Sheet

-> Body Shop Body Lotion

-> Driver License

-> Suzuki Swift (hihihi :D)

-> Pencil Case

-> MissWhatever File

-> New Hair Done (colored hair?hihihi :D)

I'll get what I want no matter what and how it takes. I am a very determined person :)


Perfect Get-Away

It's little short teaser from the Family Get-Away at Langkawi Island. It's a little few late because I'm not feeling very well past few days. So here it goes. More photos from the cam-whore siblings visit our Facebook =)

From Kuala Lumpur -> Alor Setar -> Pandang Besar had our little shopping before heading to Kuala Perlis

Boarding to Langkawi Island from Kuala Perlis with the Ferry -.-

After a very long journey finally arrived at our Hotel

Getting ready for our very first shopping maniac at Idaman Suri

After tired shopping we had our dinner at Sawadee Restaurant near Cenang

Second Day shopping at all Haji Ismail places

Window Shopping and Beach Day at Cenang

After went for morning till evening walk we had our dinner at Malay Restaurant

Cam-whore at the beach before leaving the Hotel

Had Starbucks before ride on the Ferry

Arrived Kuala Perlis had our lunch at Laksa Restaurant

October 17, 2011

Anonymous

If you were my girlfriend, I could never ignore you, even if you said you hated me and wished I was dead. I'd always pick up the phone for you even at 3 am. And I'd always text you first every single day. I'd send you a message first thing every morning to tell you I love you and make sure you slept good. I'd call you every night and talk to you until you were about to sleep. And I'd even text you when you already asleep just to say I love you just incase you wake up in the middle of the night, and so you never forget how much you mean to me. I'd tell you everyday how perfect you are. I wouldn't let anyone be mean to, or even touch you. I'd do whatever it takes to make sure you feel safe. I'd never give you a reason to be jealous because I'd make sure that you and everyone else knows how much I love you and only you. Keeping you happy would always be my first priority. If you were upset, I'd stay up all night long talking to you to make sure you're okay. If one of my friends had problem with you or made you feel uncomfortable, I'd leave them. I'd try my hardest not to fight with you. I'd never yell at you or hurt you. I'd try to talk things out with you, and if that doesn't work I'd just forget about it. You mean so much more to mean than a stupid little fight. I'd never hurt you, and never do anything that you didn't want to even sexual stuff. I'd tell you the whole time how gorgeous you are and how much I love you. I'd be the luckiest guy ever that got to be by your side for the rest of our lives and get to hug you in my arms until you fell asleep. I just want to make sure you are happy and feel safe and loved with me around you. You're honestly the sweetest and most gorgeous girl I've ever seen in my entire life.

The greatest feeling when an anonymous inbox you this. You know deep inside that if he doesn't loves you, someone else are way in love with you. If he left you and you're about to fall there's one person would come and catch you. You're about to lost one important person in your life but there are about thousand of them still at your back loving you and care for you. I thought I'd have a lot of haters but I was wrong until this was in my inbox. Actually I have more lovers than haters. I'm lucky to have those lovers all around me. I can feel the loved. Thanks family, friends and you for sure

October 13, 2011

Upcoming Vacation

  • OCTOBER VACATION

Four Seasons Langkawi,Malaysia.

  • NOVEMBER VACATION
Grand Hyatt Bali,Indonesia.

  • DECEMBER VACATION
Singapore.

*MORE PLANS ARE COMING! SPEND MORE TIME WITH LA FAMILIA! AM SO HAPPY, EXCITED & GRATEFUL! AMIN!

Thousands of Regret

I was in pain, you know. I mean I was in pain for a very long time. I don't regret my past, I just regret the time I've waited on the wrong people. I'm really bad at making decisions because I've never once be independent before. And so, being with you was the biggest mistakes I've ever done. Nobody wants to wait forever and I used to tell you many times that " I'll wait for you no matter what it takes and how it goes I'll just wait for you. But I've just realized that we together back are so wrong meaning we can never go back to what we used to be. Everything will just be so wrong and untrue. And one thing am so sure that I am no longer waiting for your comeback because I'm tired of waiting. Even people keep telling me that have faith in myself and miracles does happen at times but I don't want that miracles to happen to me. All I ever did was loving you, trusting you, loyal to you and it is all just a waste. Happy endings are just stories that haven't finished yet. Yes,I have made mistakes because life didn't come with warning and the mistake is you. There's no starting over. No matter where I go, whatever I do, my past just seems to follow me.Don't hate me for this because all good things must come to an end. Whenever I'm about to be happy again there must be a small pieces that going to destroy the happiness and the reason is you. Everything just got to do with you and why is that I don't know. One thing that I'm sure don't ever promise me when you can never keep your promises because once you break the promise I can never like you. I have so much to say but only one came out which is "REGRET"!


Let the right one in
Let the old dreams die
Let the wrong ones go

October 8, 2011

360 Degrees

Hye,bloggers!

What's with my 360 Degrees?

Well, hehehehe I'm back! I'm officially back! The old me already back on track!

I've missed so many things, fun and joy because of my sad moments that affect me.

BUT,

I'm all okay now. "That" 360 Degrees did turn me all over again.

Well, I did break with him like so many times but maybe God wants me to be with him for the rest of our lives? Or for the next few years? Who knows,true?

About destiny and fate I can't really tell you but all I know that no matter how hard people try to get into us we still trust and keep our faith high.

The incredible feelings between us was just too perfect and the bond that we had was just too sweet.

I know what I want, who I want to be with and who can really turn me 360 Degrees and that's ''Him"!

Baby, thanks for being so nice towards me.
Baby, thanks for still wanting me even I did hurt you many times.
Baby, thanks for liking me a lot like more than anybody else did.
Baby, thanks for still waiting for me even I've hurt you before by trying to hang on someone else.
Baby, thanks for taking a good care of me and I know you really care for me or else you wouldn't ask for me to come back.
Baby, thanks for being there whenever I need someone to talk to.
Baby, thanks for making me laughing all the time.
Baby, thanks for coming back into my life.
Baby, thanks for loving me and I will be loving you too more than you do.

You've done a lot for my sake, my happiness and I just missed our moment together from the beginning. Next time make sure you prepare your voice and sing me that song. So sweet of you trying to please me =)

I love you all seconds.
I miss you all minutes.
I need you all the times.
I want you for my entire life just same as you.

Once I get my eyes on you meaning you'll be the only guy that I will looked for and let's forget about the Ex! They're not important now. As for me I don't feel like thinking about it or talking about it because as for me, I don't have any and all my life is just you my one and only.

I Love You So Much, sayang!

October 2, 2011

Don't Forget Me

We loved each other but we are now breaking up. We are in different places but under the same sky but please don't forget me. When the cold wind brushes against my finger tips, I can hear your laughter. The two eyes in which my face was reflected, I miss them and so I cry and cry. My lips have hardened so I couldn't say those words. We used to have this one bond but now we're in our own ways. Even we're miles apart from each other, we're not together anymore and we've got someone we love with us but please just don't forget me. Did you know that someone let you go while hiding the pain deep inside? That someone is me. That someone please love her. One day I wish for your return. In the mean time just please don't forget me.


I wish I could be happy once I'm with him. I wish he could take over your place. I wish our 6 years relationship will last longer until the very end. I wish that I am doing the right thing. I wish you happiness in your life. Stay strong and keep healthy.

October 1, 2011

This Feeling

Am so happy and glad to be back in my home town =)

I've got nothing to post up till now because the family aren't gather around for the time being because they're not even in Kuala Lumpur will be waiting for our short vacation in two weeks time :)

This Feeling :

Everybody's got something that they had to leave behind. One may regret from yesterday, that just seems to grow with time. There's no use looking back or wondering how it could be now or might have been because all this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go. I never had a dream come true till the day that I found you even though I pretend that I moved on you will always be my baby. I never found the words to say because you're the one that I think about each day and I know that no matter where life takes me to, a part of me will always be with you. Somewhere in my memory, I've lost all sense of time and tomorrow can never be because yesterday is all that fills my mind that you will always the dream that fills my head.I'm sure you know you will baby because you will always be the one and I know I will never forget. You know that I still love you baby and it will never change because all we had just too strong. Why can't we just be like we used to be because it's you that I need and nothing else until the end. Who else can ever make me feel the way I feel when I'm with you. Hope you know it's not right boy just stop and come back boy because right next to you is where I need to be.


Goodnight,sleep tight Malaysia :)

September 28, 2011

You're My Destiny

Hey,bloggers!

Since today is aready 1:54 AM so I would like to talk about final exams. Tomorrow will be the very last paper for the final. I'm so glad and excited to go home (KUALA LUMPUR). I miss home,family and my pretty little baby(bed) hehehe =)

But at the same time, am so sad because things have to end like right here, right now, at this moment. I'm sorry but you guys need to let it go. I'll be saying goodbye to my dearest best friends here in two months, I guess?

NUR ARIFAH KAIYISAH

Omg! I just love this Arifah so much. Like you can never find any other like her at other places. Well, she's not the first who I met and greeted but she's the very best friend of mine. I don't think I can lose her now and forever. Because out of my best friends from high school she's pretty different from them. It's a very huge different between Arifah and my high school best friends. But it does not matters now. We fought every single day about the very little tiny things but that makes we both become closer day by day. She's hell damn unique and supper duper cool. I will be missing her a lot. Since I call her with a nickname " mok" so now I would like to say that " I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MOK " *kawan sampai mati okay? =) muuuaahh!

NUR SYAIRAH BINTI ARIFIN

This kid! Oh GOD! She is so "rajin" and very "caring". She is just like a mother for me and Arifah. She took care of us just like a real mummy! I was given a blessed by having her in my life. She taught me about how to be independent and many more. None of my friends out there can really taught me about life like what she did. That's why she is irreplaceable ever. I love you baby!

SYAMIM BIN MALEK

Okay! This boy, I have a lot to story about. Syamim came in a bit late and when he's in I wasn't in the class. I was at my home town at that moment. So when I first hang out with him at the cafe' near our college I felt like "Oh God! This dude gila kerek" you know why I call him "kerek" because he talked to me using "kau" "aku" word. Well, I don't really like to talk with other people or my friends using that word. Like seriously AWKWARD! Okay whatever. Then after day by day he is now comfortable talked to me using my style hehehe that's my bobboy! So we become closer like omg sumpah bff sampai bila-bila! Everywhere I go there must be him standing near me. Bodyguard okay! Joke boy =) We fool around like nobody else around us. Seriously you can never imagine how we can still act cool even some said that we've got something but Nuhh! Kita kawan dunia akhirat okay! We both shared everything together. Not even a very piece of tiny shit akan tertinggal. See how amazing this friendship bond. Sometimes memang padanlah orang cakap we've got something because our friendship is very unpredictable. He can never been replaced by any other human being out there because like I said our friendship is very unique and different. It's unpredictable. And I've got this very pretty,cute and special name for hime "bobboy" Only people around us know the reason of the "bobboy" thingy.Hehehehe boy even we're like miles apart or might be hours and hours apart you're my bestest friend ever! I've promised you that I will never forget you,okay? *sayangyousampaimati

MOHD EHSAN ABDUL GHANI

Okay! At first this guy named,Ehsan is a very weird guy? He's not weird just that we can never make a difference whether he's mad or happy. He's a guy with the sweetest smile on his face. That's why his name is Ehsan. Memang Ehsan betul :) So at first, I get annoyed with him cause he never stops smilling. *macamnaklempanglaju-lajupunadajuga but after days I've know a little few things about him sumpah cakap *gilalawaksehmamatni We've now become closer every single day. Like we both understands each other very out of well. And we've come from the same town *KUALA LUMPUR ehem ehem hehehe =D This guy oh my he's an irreplaceable guy in my world! Mark my word its my world! My world! He's a very nice,sweet,caring,loving and annoying guy ever met. Hehehe sorry Ehsan but you should know why I get annoyed with you clue *youtipui =) Up till now, I don't even know how I can leave this Ehsan in this world without me watching him. Without me so our world has gone =( I'm scared of not having him as my bestest friend and boyfriend for the rest of my life hehe different word with same the meaning kot? Something like that la. Okay I want to keep it to myself about you hehehe jealous ah nanti other people tahu a little few things about you and replace me. You dah janji ah Ehsan no one can ever replace me as your Princess Dora muahahaha. REMEMBER YOUR PROMISE EHSAN! *sayangyoulebihkawanduniaakhiratsapaibila-bilasayangyouje mmuuuaahh! =) Now I feel like crying Ehsannn!

Hmmm the reasone why I wrote about these four little gilaks friends is because they're an irreplaceable and their price can never be counted at any place I go. *sukahatijebelasahayat I'll be missing you guys a lot weh. I wish I'm a Genie so I could take you guys with me forever. I'll never forget each of your good deeds and sacrifices. Let's not forget each other and keep in touch okay?

p/s: miss me? go and buy patung dora =) sleep with it!


September 23, 2011

Best Friend Forever



I’m lazy as an elephant. I’m stubborn as hell. I also talk sarcastically but my two darlings can never get bored and tired with me. That is what one best friend did. They even taught me about life and it makes me feel sad to not have them by my side because wherever you go, there would be 100% you can never find someone like them.I don’t talk bullshit here as it’s the fact. Side by side or miles apart, dear friends are always close to the heart. They're someone that I can trust with my life who has seen the best and worst of me and will be there whenever I need someone to talk to. There is a balance in a relationship between give and take. I feel so in sync with them that I can comfortably share my innermost feelings and thoughts.


Nur Arifah Kayisah & Nur Syairah = Never been replaced ♥

September 18, 2011

Final Examination

Simple and short.

Today would be the first day of my final exam.

Only GOD knows how scared I was in the hall.

Out of sudden I can feel the butterflies in my stomach.

Right after the paper ends, I feel so good.

Chait! I really hate that feeling. Huish!

BEL was so okay =) I hope and please give me an A ,God!

Tomorrow : CTU which is Islamic Fundamentals

Next Wednesday : Office Administration

Next Friday : Business Mathematics

END OF FINAL EXAMINATION which means END OF SEMESTER ONE.

*ehem ehem family vacation I can't wait =)

September 12, 2011

Thoughts On Life

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

It Comes To An End

I have been blessed with good friends in my life and wish to take this opportunity to say goodbye to one of the best classmates, OM 1D.

My classmates and I met when we approached each other in the class. Since we have our own thoughts about each other, there were so many things happened throughout these days.

We laughed. We cried. We did all together and we all hang-out all together near our all time favorite place called BENDANG , but unfortunately it would not change the current situation.

After that first meeting, we often met and stay together to get to know each other. Day by day we get along and had plenty of good times together. What I love the most that you can never find any friends out there as mine, they brought me to Tasik Jitra. And that's the best feeling ever. We had a great times together.

It was sad that we could not keep what we did all the time for the next few months since we all have our own path to choose. And although it meant we no longer had any reason to continue our talks and meetings, we did. And our friendship flourished. It was a very difficult decision to make but after all people come and go. So we have to accept the fact.

Good friends are those who make you a better person for having known them. OM 1D was one of those friends. I am honored to have had them in my life. This article is a tribute to them - Until we meet again.

“From now on, when it rains, each of you will stretch across the sky in a great bow of color as a reminder that you can all live in peace.
And so, whenever a good rain washes the world, and a Rainbow appears in the sky, to let us remember to appreciate one another. "

The Greatest Pain In Life

The greatest pain in life is not to die, but to be ignored.

  • To lose the person you love so much to another who doesn't care at all.
  • To have people think that you don't care.
The greatest pain in life, is not to die, but to be forgotten.

  • To be left in the dust after another's great achievement.
  • To never get a call from a friend, just saying "hi".
  • When you show someone your innermost thoughts and they laugh in your face.
  • For friends to always be too busy to console you when you need someone to lift your spirits.
  • When it seems like the only person who cares about you, is you.
Life is full of pain, but does it ever get better?

  • Will people ever care about each other, and make time for those who are in need?
  • Each of us has a part to play in this great show we call life.
  • Each of us has a duty to mankind to tell our friends we love them.
If you do not care about your friends you will not be pusinshed.
You will simply be ignored, forgotten, as you have done to others.

I Am Sorry

If I knew it would be the last time that I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly and pray to GOD, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for just one more.

If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute or two to stop and say "I love you,"
Instead of assuming you would know I do.

If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day,
Well, I'm sure you'll have so many more, I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight,
And we always get a second chance to make everything right.

There will always be another day to say our "I love you's,"
And certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do's?"

But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget,

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike,
Today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss,
Too busy to grant someone what turned out to be their last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today, whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear.

Take time to say "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me," "Thank you" or "It's okay".
And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today.

I'm Letting You Go

September 9, 2011

Life's Too Short

What's with that?

So here it goes. I don't really know what I feel and what to feel. I just don't want to feel anything right now. This feelings is just too sucks.

What's going on with me?

Thought I'd never fall in love again but, then there was you.
I've met a guy that makes my heart beat even faster than it supposed to be and gave me that real feeling when he was there with me.

What I like about him?

I don't really know what I see in him but all I ever wanted was his faith on me.
He's funny. He's cool. He's nice. He's caring. He's loving. He's adorable. He's sweet. He's awesome. He's protective. He's childish. He's him. And he's a guy that used to be in my life.

As a conclusion?

Life's too short people and we need to live it happily. It's not really a big thing that we became like this because all I know I've open a new book for the new chapter of my life =)
I've let go everything, my hopes, my dreams, my wishes and my lives. Everything is just Impossible.

I'm over you. Letting you go is the best solution.

August 28, 2011

A Letter To My EX Boyfriend



It's going to be the New Chapter of my life and I want to start that chapter with healing. I haven't gone out to meet my EX boyfriend yet but I wrote him a letter. I hope he gets to read it but it's more like a letter that marks the beginning for me. I have finally come to terms with my long love affair. And I know now that my EX wasn't the one for me. I've finally let go.

It was a painful relationship. More painful than anything I've ever experienced. But I learned a lot from it. I learned that when it's not the right relationship, it just isn't the right relationship.

I now think that I'm ready for a brand new relationship. The kind of relationship that just feels right.

Dear EX Boyfriend,

I'm sorry if you think that I am selfish. I hope you can see what is in my heart. I wish you could read my thoughts and my heart. But you can't. You never have. I guess I keep calling you because I want to know if you've have moved on. I also want some closure between us. Sometimes, I do wish we could be together again. The days we have spent together was one of the defining moments on my life. It changed me in ways I can never fully grasp yet.

I loved you. I was young and naive. I thought I was incapable of love but you taught me how. I loved you. When I was with you and when I was enveloped in your love, I always thought about you. Every second for several days, I'd say a prayer. I'd think of you. Remember the letter I gave you? Written on that letter were the words : If I could build a secret garden for every time I thought of you, I'd forever walk in that garden.

It is true. When we were together you were all I thought about. You were all that I cared about. I may have a hard time expressing my love but you melted my heart. Somehow you did. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I never knew what love was until we met. I never thought I was capable of that kind of love. Similarly, I never thought that I was capable of so much hurt and bitterness.

When I say I don't want you, it doesn't mean I don't love you anymore. You have touched my heart in ways I can never imagine. I think once you love someone, you are marked for life. You were once part of my life and I would love to carry that with me for the rest of my life.

The girl you once knew and the girl who once loved you has grown up. I am not the same person that I used to be when I met you. I have changed. And I'd like to believe that I changed for better partly because of you. Although it was hard not to be bitter given that you have broken my heart so many times.

I don't know if you could fully understand what you did to me. I know I have been cruel to you. I know that I've hurt you. I know it is not right to hurt someone intentionally but I thought that since you've hurt me, I want to hurt you back.

You never allowed me to express my sadness when you betrayed me. When you took my heart, it wasn't just a simple act of taking my heart and not giving it back. It hurts because you took it and never explained why you could do something so hurtful to the person you say you love deeply. It wasn't just that. I trusted you to take care of me. I trusted that when times would get tough, you would be there for me and not take advantages of my generosity. But you did. You took advantage. What hurt the most when you never explain how could you do something so terrible.

Did you know it will took me years to really get over that? I tried to really forgive you. There was a time I was tempted to leave you because of that. And you know that too right? I stopped myself. And now I was so ready to walk away because I was hurt so much. It hurts so much when I started to do something, everything just remind me of you. Our love and promises that we made symbolized the trust that I had for you, the trust that I could never recover. The trust that I could never get back. I wonder how can you really get over me so fast.

It really took me a lot to forgive you and to not leave you. I guess I hated myself for staying. I really wanted to leave. If I have walked away, no one would have blame me. But I loved you. And I wanted to believe that I could forgive you. And you tell me that I'm selfish. That's what hurts. I stayed not because I wanted to. I stayed because I have to because I loved you and I wanted to forgive you. And all that I really wanted was an explanation from you. But you never gave me that because you would never let me dare speak of it. You wanted to bury it. But I can't bury it because it was one most terrible things that anyone has ever done to me. When someone you love betrays you, it will leave a lasting scar. But I don't blame you. You did what you had to do because of reasons still unknown to me. And that is what hurts. The fact that you never explained why you betrayed me. It's not losing the love that hurts. It's losing the trust and not getting an explanation why you could do something like that.

Remember when we had our big fight at the "warung"? We fight in front of the owner of the "warung" and our friends around. I was so scared at that time and I'm a bit disappointed with your words. I still remember that. It was one of the most painful fights that we ever had.

I think I started the fire at that time. I brought up everything. You got angry and yelled at me. I tried to hold my tears in front of you and I did. Right after you went out of that place my tears started fall down. I cried non-stop and I do not know why I don't want to cry in front of you. Maybe I don't want you to feel bad about it or maybe my ego is too high. How I wish I could have an answer for that.

Me forgetting you was the hardest thing that I need to do in my life. And sometimes I stayed not because I wanted to. I stayed because I want to be happy with you all the time. That's why until now it stings when you tell me that you think I'm selfish and you're not happy to be with me. After we've gone through our thick and thin that's the most hurtful words ever came out from your heart. Have I not tried to give you my love, my soul and my world? I tried to give you everything. There were times when I was selfish. But didn't you feel that sometimes I would rather not be there with you? And you call me selfish when in fact, I stayed because I wanted to make you happy even if it killed me deep inside to stay with you.

Just try to remember. When were intimate, did you ever look into my eyes and feel my pain and my true love? There were the times when I wasn't even there with you. There were the times that I would have wanted to be somewhere else. One time you used to ask me why I did this to you because I wouldn't respond to you. I was so cold to you and unresponsive.

That was the first time I allowed myself to truly feel what I felt inside. You said that love isn’t enough. Yes. You’re right. Love isn’t enough to make me stay. Love isn’t enough to make me happy. But it wasn’t your fault. In fact, I blame myself. I still do. But I don’t regret anymore. At least, I’ll carry the memories with me. And who knows? Maybe because of what we went through, we’ll eventually find happiness.

You say that I’m a revisionist and that I changed what happened so I can make it fit into my story. Two people can be in the same relationship and not have the same experience. I am only giving you my perspective on the relationship. You always said that you were happy when you were with me. You always told me that you were happy being with me. I felt that happiness when you’d kiss my shoulder or my forehead. I felt that happiness when you’d take my hand and kiss it. It took me a long time to admit it, but I wasn’t happy in our relationship. It had a negative effect on me. And it isn’t your fault. Some relationships just do that to people. It’s not just you or me. It’s you and me together.

There was a time when I blamed you for my unhappiness. It was wrong of me to think that. It wasn’t you. It was the relationship. It was the fact that I wasn’t ready for a relationship when I agreed to be with you. It was the fact that my parents and my family didn’t accept you and me. It was the fact that I was looking for something else and I couldn’t find it in our relationship. It was the fact that everything just didn’t feel right from the very beginning. I had only started to come to terms with my childhood trauma. Even if I told you it wasn’t real, I always thought that you would read right through me and could see that I was lying because I was.

I guess that’s my fault. I always assume that people could read my thoughts. I guess I had wanted you to read my mind. I had wanted you to read right through me so I wouldn’t have to explain what was in my heart. But you could never do that. And that’s how I know, you’re not the one. Even I force myself to believe that you're the one for me but you ensure me that's not going to happened.

I tried to forget what happened to me. Yes, I was sexually abused. I tried to forget but I could never allow myself to forget. When I met you, I was at that point in my life when I started to question everything. I was sad and and alone. You were there for me. You liked me. And I wanted someone to fall in love with me.

I guess that’s also the reason why I stayed in our relationship far longer than I would have wanted. I guess, I didn’t want you to just like me. I wanted you to fall in love with me. I wanted you to love me because I never felt that when I was with someone else. I never felt loved. I never felt needed.

And you seem to have needed me. You seem to have loved me. And for that, I’m very grateful. I still remember when we were in the library, our first meeting after we had declared you were trying so hard to convince me not to leave. In the library we watched movies together, we were fighting and I forced you to let me go and many more. I still remember that. I wonder have you ever recall everything we had.

I was so touched by that. I felt so loved and so needed by you. I felt so important. I had wanted to marry you at that time. In my mind, I could see myself running away with you and never coming back. At that moment, I wanted to be with you so we could build a new life together.

But that’s how I knew it was the wrong thing to do. I could never build a new life with you. I could never run away. It’s not because I don’t want to. It’s because I can’t. Running away from my family and from the world that I’ve ever known is like running away from myself. I couldn’t build a new life or a new identity with you because I would be denying myself. Like you said, things aren't the same. And we can't be together live happily ever after.

I’ve always wanted to run away from my problems. I’ve always wanted to run away from my sadness. But I know that I can never run away from anything. This is who I am. I am who I am. I can never deny who I am. I can never deny myself. Running away would feel good but it wouldn’t feel right. I guess that’s what our relationship stood for. I was running away. I was running away from the world. You were right I always run away but you were wrong when you say I left you. That's not even true.

You may call me a revisionist. You can do that. You can call me selfish. You can call me self-centered. But none of those words will sting me anymore because I know it isn’t true. In my heart, I know what I felt and I know what I experienced. No one else can take that away from me. Not even you.

There were times when I felt bitter and angry at myself and at you. But I know now, it’s just one of those things that happen. There are relationships that change you for the better. And some relationships that wound you so much that you are unable to live your life the way you should. Our relationship is the latter. It’s a very painful relationship. And as you had said in our previous meeting, if we stay together, we will just destroy each other.

Someone told me that you have found someone else. And when I called you last Friday to ask whether you have found a girlfriend, I felt so sad. I still remember where I was. I was at my room, the room that you sleep when you came over to my place, the room that we spent our time together watching movie. When I learned of it for the first time, my immediate reaction was to hold back my tears. My sister was there and I was embarrassed that she’d see me cry. I didn’t want them to see me in pain but it so painful I had to run off. I did lied to you about me and Ehsan because I wanted to tell you that I'm over you and I wanted you to feel my pain too but I was wrong.

I guess I always wanted you to love me and to continue to love me even if we’re no longer together. So I admit, that part, I’m selfish. I wanted to go to sleep at nights knowing that somewhere out there in the world, was a guy who loved me and who thought of me. But when you told me that you were seeing another girl, I felt so sad. You had stopped loving me and have moved on. It’s what I’ve always wanted for you but I guess I was not prepared how much it would hurt. It hurts. It really hurt.

But at the same time, I was extremely grateful that you had found someone else. It allowed me to realize that our relationship had ended. That it was time for both of us to move on. And that it was time for me to stop believing that someone out there in the world was a guy who loved me.

I won’t ever forget the kisses that you gave me. The sweet kisses. There’s one indelible memory of you and me together in a the car when we were on our way to Penang. We were headed for the city. We had just left our hostel. You were napping. And I was sleepy. I rested my head on your shoulders. You woke up and you took my hand. You held my hand and looked at it as if it were the most precious thing on the entire planet. You kissed my hand,my cheek and I was so happy. I would never forget that. At that moment, I felt most loved by you. And I still hold on to that memory when I feel lonely. At least, I could say to myself that once upon a time, someone had loved me. And that’s what I’ve always wanted from you. To be loved by you.

In a way, you have taught me how to love. Love should be about the simple things. Love shouldn’t be about the grand romantic gestures. It shouldn’t be about giving flowers or giving chocolates. Love should be about the simple things– to profess one’s love to someone, a simple kiss on the forehead, a touch on the hands, a kiss on the shoulder. Love should be about the simple things. You’ve taught me that.

You also taught me the concept of unconditional love. I would often ask you why you love me despite my faults and you’d say, ” It’s part of you. It’s part of the package. I have to learn to love all of you.” Those are simple yet powerful words. It shows that you have so much wisdom when it comes to love.

When you said that, that’s when I knew that you weren’t the one when I couldn’t admit the same thing about you. I loved you but my love for you was conditional. There were just things about you that I could never accept. One of that, being your drug use. I could never accept that. So my love is ” I love you BUT…” When it should be, ” I love you and…”

I know you will love again. I know you will learn to forgive me. I know you will learn to forgive yourself. I know you will love someone else. I feel sad that someone else will receive your kisses. I feel sad that you will be holding someone else’s life. But love evolves. Love grows. And you shouldn’t just allow your heart to feel love just once. Love is meant to be shared.

I hope you can hear what my heart is saying. I wish you could read my mind. Because right now, there is no bitterness and sadness in my heart anymore. There’s only hope.I wish you could look back at our relationship and see how necessary it was. How it was meant to be part of our journey in life. How, you were meant to be part of my journey and I, yours. They say that we meet people for a reason. Meetings aren’t just random encounters. People meet each other because they’re meant to be part of each other’s journey. Our journey together was far longer. It lasted almost two months. Some encounters are short but it’s still no less significant. And today August 29, 2011 should be our TWO MONTHS ANNIVERSARY.

I may not know it now. You may not know it now. But there was a reason why we met. Even if our journey together ended, at least we can look back and say to ourselves that we have loved. Because we have loved. I can lie to people that I'm okay, and I'm over you but my heart can't leave you behind. I wish I could do as what you did. Even I know that there's no possibility we are going back together but I wanted you to know that I still hope for it. It takes time to let you go and I'm sorry to be this selfish. I MISS OUR MOMENTS, I MISS YOU, I MISS US!